Its that time of the night, where i want to nestle into bed and dream up a whole new world, a whole new life in which i never have to grow up never have to make difficult desicions, See all my life i have wanted to stay a child stay at that stage in my life where everything amazes me, where i love everyone but hate them at the same time.
Being young is something i wanted to do forever, i will never be able to let go of my childhood and no matter how old i am or get, i will never forget what it is like to live without fears and hurt and love and loss but just take everyday as a different one and be amazed by things ive already seen.
Hopefully i will dream this up tonight however i will not hold out seen as last night i dreamt a devil was trying to posess me. hmmmm
Goodnight Blogger.com
And remember we are all beautiful and all deserve to shine.
SiSi Milano xo
Wednesday, 12 October 2011
Reading.Festival.Pt.2
So.. I know i said i would post the day after Reading Festival, but to tell the truth everythings been a bit crazy at the moment and i had not got round to blogging.
But here i am ready to share all......
Well where do i start? I returned to Reading for a fourth year... Since i went in 2008 for the first time i just cant take myself away from the crazy atmosphere, thats full of people from all different stereotypes, from punks, to hippies, to chavs and goths. However in 08, i was at the niave age of 16 although i am not that much older now, i have learned a lot and become much wiser.
Onto juicier things, Reading was a blast with not a dull day in sight, I being me, started the party early on, by early i mean 9 in the morning on the train up to reading, but soon everyone started to join in.
I was worried as one of the guys coming along was a very good friend however there was history he is handsome, charming and every girls dream, i was scared that spending a whole weekend together sleeping so close together, would rekindle old sparks, when i say 'old' i mean sparks that have kind of always been there but have had to be pushed to the side due to partners and incovinience.
However
To my amasement it was not this guy that was the trouble. Another guy, we shall name him Luca, was a guy i spent almost my whole time at reading last year with, we were inseperable not only did we just click and connect on every level possible we actually became very close, and he really looked after me. And here we were in 2011 and the same thing was about to happen all over again. With his dark hair and his eyes that drill straight through you.
The first night we kissed at this years reading was a night after i had a 'bit' too much to drink, and when i say bit i mean.. so much that i fell alseep in a bush, ended up in a van with a group of volunteers, started drinking jack daniels through a beer bong, spent 2 hours on my own at the funfair, mainly on the same ride, but also getting thrown of the dodgems and 2 unfortunate volunteers had the pleasure of helping me find my tent for 3 hours. Anyway, so when they finally managed to find my tent, only a few people were up and Luca was one of them, we were both more than merry and before i knew it his lips were on mine, it was quite forceful but passionate, it could have only been seconds into it and i ripped away i knew it was wrong, anyway for then rest of the time once again we were pretty much inseperable. He looks after me and i know he really cares everytime i need him hes there.
Spending time with him had me questioning my realationship i had with my boyfriend. It was exciting and every moment we were together was never dull, Luca is crazy and every now and then our eyes would meet and i know that we were both feeling the same things as eachother. Hes still a good friend and he will always be there for me, not only will he remain my friend but there will always be a place in my heart for him. Hes defiently a friend i want to keep and maybe one day even something more.
Enough of all of this, one of my highlights of the festival was with the last night me and a close friend got way out of control, we watched pete doherty who is my all time faverioute, and once again he did not fail... and we had a blast. Another last night memory was some canadian guys coming over to our camp and playing guitar we were doing all the best hits and before we know it there were 40 50 people there, we were jumping on tents, beer bonging, dancing moshing going crazy i was on my friends shoulders and we were not even at the stage.
The whole weekend will never be forgotten it was one of my best so far, met some interesting people who will remain a big part in making this years 2011 reading festival live up to all the others and make it the best it can possibly be,
SiSi Milanoxoxo
But here i am ready to share all......
Well where do i start? I returned to Reading for a fourth year... Since i went in 2008 for the first time i just cant take myself away from the crazy atmosphere, thats full of people from all different stereotypes, from punks, to hippies, to chavs and goths. However in 08, i was at the niave age of 16 although i am not that much older now, i have learned a lot and become much wiser.
Onto juicier things, Reading was a blast with not a dull day in sight, I being me, started the party early on, by early i mean 9 in the morning on the train up to reading, but soon everyone started to join in.
I was worried as one of the guys coming along was a very good friend however there was history he is handsome, charming and every girls dream, i was scared that spending a whole weekend together sleeping so close together, would rekindle old sparks, when i say 'old' i mean sparks that have kind of always been there but have had to be pushed to the side due to partners and incovinience.
However
To my amasement it was not this guy that was the trouble. Another guy, we shall name him Luca, was a guy i spent almost my whole time at reading last year with, we were inseperable not only did we just click and connect on every level possible we actually became very close, and he really looked after me. And here we were in 2011 and the same thing was about to happen all over again. With his dark hair and his eyes that drill straight through you.
The first night we kissed at this years reading was a night after i had a 'bit' too much to drink, and when i say bit i mean.. so much that i fell alseep in a bush, ended up in a van with a group of volunteers, started drinking jack daniels through a beer bong, spent 2 hours on my own at the funfair, mainly on the same ride, but also getting thrown of the dodgems and 2 unfortunate volunteers had the pleasure of helping me find my tent for 3 hours. Anyway, so when they finally managed to find my tent, only a few people were up and Luca was one of them, we were both more than merry and before i knew it his lips were on mine, it was quite forceful but passionate, it could have only been seconds into it and i ripped away i knew it was wrong, anyway for then rest of the time once again we were pretty much inseperable. He looks after me and i know he really cares everytime i need him hes there.
Spending time with him had me questioning my realationship i had with my boyfriend. It was exciting and every moment we were together was never dull, Luca is crazy and every now and then our eyes would meet and i know that we were both feeling the same things as eachother. Hes still a good friend and he will always be there for me, not only will he remain my friend but there will always be a place in my heart for him. Hes defiently a friend i want to keep and maybe one day even something more.
Enough of all of this, one of my highlights of the festival was with the last night me and a close friend got way out of control, we watched pete doherty who is my all time faverioute, and once again he did not fail... and we had a blast. Another last night memory was some canadian guys coming over to our camp and playing guitar we were doing all the best hits and before we know it there were 40 50 people there, we were jumping on tents, beer bonging, dancing moshing going crazy i was on my friends shoulders and we were not even at the stage.
The whole weekend will never be forgotten it was one of my best so far, met some interesting people who will remain a big part in making this years 2011 reading festival live up to all the others and make it the best it can possibly be,
SiSi Milanoxoxo
Reading.Festival
A beer filled vodka drinking wellie wearing beer bong downing mud fighting funfair riding tent dwelling bush sleeping crowd surfing angry moshing JD gulping game playing chinese eating tent braking girlie chatting boobie showing shoulder carrying mind blowing drunk partying crazy singing guitar playing just out right mental mental weekend.
Tuesday, 30 August 2011
On.Love
Is it possible to be in love with someone and fall for someone else?
Or just think you are?
Because i am starting to realise i have absoloutly no idea what love is or how to even feel it.
It is completely different when i see it in the movies to how it actually feels like in real life.
Ive been lieing and pretending so much recently that i need something real in my life.
Anyway im off to bed.
Been to Reading Festival this weekend (which i will write a seperate post on tomorrow) but yes it was amazing. And i shall tell you more tomorrow.
Night Night
SiSi Milano xoxo
Or just think you are?
Because i am starting to realise i have absoloutly no idea what love is or how to even feel it.
It is completely different when i see it in the movies to how it actually feels like in real life.
Ive been lieing and pretending so much recently that i need something real in my life.
Anyway im off to bed.
Been to Reading Festival this weekend (which i will write a seperate post on tomorrow) but yes it was amazing. And i shall tell you more tomorrow.
Night Night
SiSi Milano xoxo
Tuesday, 7 June 2011
Martin.Luther.King
One of my most treasured quotes.
''Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
SiSi Milano xo
''Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
SiSi Milano xo
Beastly
So i just spent the last 1hour.23minutes watching the film Beastly.!
Wow!
I was truly touched about the strong message put across. The overall message was ''beauty comes from within'', however i was deeply saddened to realise that when we look around, there are very few of us who actually look beyond what we see on the outside. So many of us will turn a blind eye to something we dont like the look of and wont waste our time trying to figure out whether there is something more. I mean you wouldnt buy a sweater you didnt like just because it is soft and warm on the inside would you?.
The way we put others down without realising they have feelings just like us is heartbreaking, i am sure most of us have done this, i know i am guilty of this offense, when i was much younger, much more niave, however i would never use the words, ugly or fat or any offensive words that could damage someone and truly make them start believing it themselves.
Beauty dosent have to be something that is seen by the eye, it can be something that is captured by the heart, and i think i speak for a lot of people when i say, that nomatter what happens, nomatter who you are and where you are, you are beautiful.
We need to believe it ourselves for others to see it, but for others to see it we need to mean it, and to mean it we need others to believe it.
The word 'ugly' is something i am not familiar with as to me uglyness lies within, but even in the worst of people, whos insides are surrounding with uglyness, there will always be some beauty hiding just around it.
God created us all so different so that we wouldn't look the same, so that the word 'unique'could actually mean something to us all.
Just take a second to consider the pain and hurt you are causing another person the next time you think about belittling them because you are battling with your own insecurities.
SiSi Milano xo
Wow!
I was truly touched about the strong message put across. The overall message was ''beauty comes from within'', however i was deeply saddened to realise that when we look around, there are very few of us who actually look beyond what we see on the outside. So many of us will turn a blind eye to something we dont like the look of and wont waste our time trying to figure out whether there is something more. I mean you wouldnt buy a sweater you didnt like just because it is soft and warm on the inside would you?.
The way we put others down without realising they have feelings just like us is heartbreaking, i am sure most of us have done this, i know i am guilty of this offense, when i was much younger, much more niave, however i would never use the words, ugly or fat or any offensive words that could damage someone and truly make them start believing it themselves.
Beauty dosent have to be something that is seen by the eye, it can be something that is captured by the heart, and i think i speak for a lot of people when i say, that nomatter what happens, nomatter who you are and where you are, you are beautiful.
We need to believe it ourselves for others to see it, but for others to see it we need to mean it, and to mean it we need others to believe it.
The word 'ugly' is something i am not familiar with as to me uglyness lies within, but even in the worst of people, whos insides are surrounding with uglyness, there will always be some beauty hiding just around it.
God created us all so different so that we wouldn't look the same, so that the word 'unique'could actually mean something to us all.
Just take a second to consider the pain and hurt you are causing another person the next time you think about belittling them because you are battling with your own insecurities.
SiSi Milano xo
 |
| Beastly Movie |
Monday, 30 May 2011
Breathe
Wierd thoughts enter my mind
Will i be ok?
How do i inhale and exhale
As my chest tightens
As my eyes water
As i grip the sides of my bed
And try to take a deep breathe
I tilt my head back
Slowly try to regain my breathe
And as my heart starts racing
I realise
Its Another Panick Attack
SiSi Milano xo
Will i be ok?
How do i inhale and exhale
As my chest tightens
As my eyes water
As i grip the sides of my bed
And try to take a deep breathe
I tilt my head back
Slowly try to regain my breathe
And as my heart starts racing
I realise
Its Another Panick Attack
SiSi Milano xo
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